Welcome to our inaugural Superbol live blog. Understand that this constitutes dissemination without express written consent of the National Football League. That’s how we roll here.
We’ve live-blogged other events in the past, but this is different; we’re actually watching this. Things you should know:
We= Me
I’m hosting an ersatz Superbol party.
I’m drinking. I’ve been drinking. I will continue to drink.
There’s a 72% chance that the Bacon Explosion is going to do me in before halftime.
7:03 EST:
End of the first quarter. So, I kinda forgot about this. Vegas made a fortune on first score bets. NOBODY had safety.
7:05 EST:
My wife yells that she needs help putting the baby to bed. I miss the next eight minutes of play.
7:16:
Pats secondary = what I just dropped in the diaper genie.
7:18
Chris Collinsworth describes playing in the Superbol as “unsettling”
7:20
I expect David Beckham Bodywear to be extremely popular with the 2(x)ist crowd.
7:23
Ochocinco checks into the game. There is zero chance the ball is going his way.
7:25
They were whining about the ‘splosion. “That’s so gross” or “it’s a heart attack on a bun”. They’re all going back for seconds.
9:22 am, Monday
My hosting and boozing duties got in the way of my live blog, so let’s recap a few major points:
-Ochocinco caught a ball which pretty much ensures that we’ll have to deal with him as a cultural phenomenon for another couple years. I miss Chad Johnson.
-That Madonna shit was an embarrasment to everyone involved
-The song that Madge performed with MIA and Nicki Minaj is pure K-pop. You will never convince me that it wasn’t written for Girls Generation.
-Allowing the Giants to score the go-ahead touchdown was brilliant, and oddly more reminiscent of what a good Madden player does than what most NFL coaches would do.
-Bostonians will tell you that the Pats haven’t hoisted the Lombardy trophy since Brady left a pregnant Bridget Moynahan for Gisele. I’d like to remind them that they have zero championships since THEY GOT CAUGHT CHEATING.
-African children psyched to get their Patriots Super Bowl championship t-shirts next week.
